Mentors: Have one? Want one?

Mentoring has risen to the top this week. In addition to presenting a workshop for a new association program, I was approached about creating a webinar; the topic has cropped up in several conversations as well. Believing in synchronicity, I expect there’s a good reason it’s gaining new interest: mentoring is needed.

It’s hard to find a mentor.
One person’s perception is their truth, although I suspect that there is a much broader application of this statement. Do any of these outdated beliefs apply to you?



>you’re too busy (or think you are) to be a mentor;
>the mentor has to approach you;
>going after a mentor admits a weakness;
>offering to be a mentor would send an undesirable message, i.e. you need one;
>you have to be older and very experienced to be a mentor;
>mentoring is ‘out of vogue’; it’s really just common sense anyway.

Lots of excuses and misperceptions get in the way of really helpful relationships. If you’d like a mentor or if you’d like to be one, don’t let any of these misguided beliefs stop you!

What if you get turned down?
Yep, what if you do? The sun will still rise tomorrow and you can regroup. Really, chances are slim that you’ll be turned down if you ask someone to mentor you. Here’s why:

1. When you ask someone to be your mentor, it’s flattering. Everyone likes to be appreciated and considered valuable, and when you ask “Would you be willing to mentor me in this skill?” you’re recognizing expertise.
2. When you offer to serve as a mentor, it’s also flattering. You’re saying that you see value in the individual and you want to assist in their development.

How do you get started?
Why not become part of an existing mentorship program to learn the rules of the road? Whether it’s a program through a Boys & Girls Club or one through a college, the experience will give you information and skills that you can apply to personal mentoring. If your employer or your professional association has a program, get involved in that. These types of more formal programs provide some structure and tested approaches that foster success.

Regardless of where you live, chances are good that a local non-profit association would welcome you into their program as a volunteer mentor. This is a great opportunity to give to the community while learning structure, expectations and skills that make mentoring relationships thrive.

Short of finding an already-up-and-running program, you can get a mentor or be a mentor without one. You just have to wanna and go after it.

If you want a mentor, decide what you want to learn or what skill(s) you want to develop. Define 2 or 3 people who are effective at these things, and collect your thoughts. Approach your first choice, being polite, concise and clear with your request:

“You appear to be a master at making presentations seem effortless, and if I could do that it would strengthen my value to my organization. Would you be willing to mentor me and help me improve? If so, I’ll be happy to work within your schedule and follow your suggestions for development. I’m serious about learning from you and will keep all commitments I make.”

This makes it clear that you’ve thought about initiating the conversation, you recognize the “give and take” of the mentoring relationship, and you respect the mentor’s abilities as well as their time. In a couple of sentences, you’ve proposed a learning relationship that will be satisfying for both.

What do you have to lose?
Mentoring is a one-on-one, customized way to grow your skills and get the knowledge needed to stay on top of the changes in your workplace. Whatever you learned in your last training class or degree program gets outdated pretty quickly…as the global market continues to innovate, you and your organization must change to keep up and move ahead. Don’t ignore the learning you can get easily, informally and through “master practitioners” whose expertise ensures that you bridge the gap between theory and application. Really, what do you have to lose? And what do you have to gain?

Your challenge, should you choose to accept it: tell us your best mentoring story and pass along your wisdom–you can be the catalyst for someone else!

9 Responses

  1. Excellent post Janine! Thanks. I’ll be sharing this one.

  2. Thanks, Tammy…I’m glad you think it’s valuable! So, have you had a mentor or several? Are you a mentor or would you be?


  3. Janine, I agree mentors are critical to success. It’s so important to have that other perspective. The biggest problem for high achievers is a lack of patience which fuels achievement of course. The mentor can bring some reality to situations which the achiever may see as moving too slowly. This level setting can prevent a career limiting move borne out of frustration.

  4. You’re right, Jim–whether it’s process or politics, real or perceived, things sometime move at a glacial pace in organizations. A mentor can provide context to help balance the frustration and ultimately strengthen the individual and his/her ability to ‘read corporate.’

  5. I am glad you are highlighting this valuable process. I have a couple of clients who will benefit from your thoughts.


  6. Glad you find this helpful, Glenn…and I hope your clients will, too.

  7. So glad your keeping the topic of mentoring active in today’s business environment.

    I was told it was impossible to find mentors for independent claims adjusters (versus carrier staff claims adjusters) but refused to give up. We now have an online e-mentoring group consisting of 1,150 members and growing daily consisting of experienced and trainee adjusters as well as 72 independent claims adjusting firms who have joined us! If there is a will, there is a way! Founder

  8. Thanks for sharing this success story, Debbie! Congratulations for ignoring those who said it couldn’t be done, and for having a very successful program–in about a 3 year period. I applaud your persistence and for creating your vision.

    Having visited your site, it’s a terrific example of the possible aspects and benefits of a mentoring program. Thanks for writing and telling us about establishing a valuable asset for your industry!

  9. […] after it. If it takes some new skills training, find it and take it online or at a local college. Find a mentor, or 2 or 3, and explore it, learn from their experiences, and ask for counsel and suggestions on […]

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